Very Short Stories

I’m practising writing some VERY short stories (about 13 words long). I might submit them for an anthology. I’m giving them titles here, but I’m not allowed to submit them with titles.

Lesbian Problems

'She’s not my friend, she’s my girlfriend. Back off.'


Filled with excitement from her picture I type ‘hi’.
Now we wait.

Sneak Preview

I ordered mussels. She saw my tongue in action. Second dates’ tomorrow.

Love Wins

Jonathan would have asked him regardless. But was relieved they could call it marriage.


I had things, you had things.
We have things.
Where’s my stuff gone?


I didn’t remember there being sex in this show when I wasn’t watching it with family.


I know you're sad. I won't tell anyone.



Sleeping Flash Fiction



“I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I’m awake, you know?” Ernest Hemingway


I fell asleep in class today. They turned down the lights and stuck on a bright projector, which I had no chance of escape from. Gone were the days when you had to cart out a great whale of a TV on wheels and spend half an hour setting it up. The film was playing without fuss or issue. Everyone else seemed to be keen. It was to late for a class, normally the time I would be having a nap. It didn’t help that I had earlier lost my daily battle to alcoholism, drinking three pints and a desperado. The documentary droned on, periodically disturbing me with images of dead children or groups of men with machine guns.


It reminded me of the time I watched Trainspotting pissed and how the quick flashes of brain-fucking imagery left me feeling like I had been on a drug trip. This was like that, only all the stuff I was seeing through my flickering eyelids was real. Slowly I was drifting, I could feel myself rocking forward and my head drooping to my chest like my father’s does after half a bottle of red. I propped myself up on a nearby piano, in retrospect it was odd that the film was being shown in a music practice room. Sleep took over though, and the next thing I knew I was being woken up. I didn’t fall asleep out of boredom (although I was pretty bored).  I had fallen asleep in a film I paid to see the week before.

Everyone else in the class was appropriately alert. The self righteous, pretentious, festival wristband wearing, sudo-boheimian, arseholes. I hated them at that moment. I hated everyone who could be fully awake.