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Help For Friends And Family Of People Who Self Harm

Hi, so I made this video to help the family and friends of people who self harm. I hope it helps.

Here are some helpful links and websites

Elefriends 

Mind’s Self Harm Page 

Claudia Boylen’s Youtube Channel (she discusses mental health in some of her videos) 

Samaritans 

Off The Record (Mental health help for LGBT young people) 

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Very Short Stories

I’m practising writing some VERY short stories (about 13 words long). I might submit them for an anthology. I’m giving them titles here, but I’m not allowed to submit them with titles.

Lesbian Problems

'She’s not my friend, she’s my girlfriend. Back off.'

Anticlimax

Filled with excitement from her picture I type ‘hi’.
Send.
Now we wait.


Sneak Preview

I ordered mussels. She saw my tongue in action. Second dates’ tomorrow.

Love Wins

Jonathan would have asked him regardless. But was relieved they could call it marriage.

Co-habiting

I had things, you had things.
We have things.
Where’s my stuff gone?

FML

I didn’t remember there being sex in this show when I wasn’t watching it with family.

Empath

I know you're sad. I won't tell anyone.

 

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Some song lyrics I have been working on

Sitting by my bedside table,

The answer seems to glow like a beacon.

I’ve lost all control

or maybe it’s been taken.

I know, I know I know.

 

Walking past my desk,

The answer seems to light up like a firework.

I didn’t plan on this.

I miss feeling like I’m a person.

I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know.

 

I don’t want to go, well maybe,

maybe just a little.

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Abuse, threats and harassments, because of video games. Please Read.

I am very tired. And very sad.

Two women who’s content I very much enjoy have been targeted on mass in the last few days. Some terrible things have gone down in the video game industry, Anita Sarkeesian, a feminist video game critic, had to leave her home due to rape and death threats. Zoe Quinn, a game developer who made a game called ‘Depression Quest‘ about what it is like to experience depression is being discredited and ‘slut shamed’ all for things that did not actually happen. Look into there work and there games, they are talented women who don’t deserve this.

I’m going to link some articles as it is explained better than I could. I need to get this out there now while this is happening and we can use our voices and show support.

My Review of Depression Quest

Part 1

Part 2

Letter To A Young Male Gamer

Each New That Anita Sarkeesian Posts Is A Sign That The Bullies Are Losing

It is thought the threats to Sarkeesian may have been even more brutal currently as her most recent episode was noticed by people in the industry, including Joss Whedon. I have included her latest video.

 

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A poem in which I consider going back on medication

Another sleepless night.

now is the time

for staying up late,

of thinking in rhymes.

of thinking of tunes

and picking up the guitar.

of looking down and seeing scars

I watch my self

a year ago ,

that girl is someone I hardly know.

To think a few months after

the video was made

I’d find a day when carrying on

was no way to go about things.

and that I would see the end so clearly

in my mind I wrote a will and sat and cried.

In that person

I see more life than there is in me now

I remember the prescriptions I tried out.

And I realise I have had my rebellious time,

of saying I don’t need chemical help,

that I’m in control of my mind.

But if thats who I was

so passionate and lively

when my world was dismantling around me.

And now everything is fixed and still,

while I ignore that i’m ill.

I need that again,

to go back to medical school.

I need the drugs to teach me

that i’m not all I can be

and with there help I can

I can go back to sleep.

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Stuff I should probably mention to my therapist

Stuff I should probably mention to my therapist (but haven’t)

1. I can’t remember my life.

The other day I saw a picture of my best friend from age 9 to 16. we had know each other since we were 3. I had forgot she existed. I never think of her, i barely remember what we did together, despite going on a few holidays. I forget boyfriends I have had. I forget horrible experiences until someone mentions something from that time. My life memory is very short and  im sure thats not normal.

2. I get flashbacks

They only happen for a period of time. They last a few weeks then go. I replay the same events over and over and forget how much I have been thinking about them (see above). I replay alternatives, the things I wish I had done. I get stuck back there. the memories spring on me like I didnt know them, fresh every time.

3. All my relationships have been a failure and I hate it. Well relationships end, but that doesn’t mean they are a failure. you learn things, you appreciate the memories in time. not me. At one point or another I have felt used or exploited in all my relationships.

4. I am not as well as you think.

I can hold my shit together if I need to, and I’ve been doing a good job of it recently. But no matter how hard you try the actual medical problem will take over and mess you up.

5. I have no idea who I am or where I am going.

I am convinced I will never meet anyone, that I am getting to old. I would like a partner, thats all i know, but i wont get one just to do what people think ‘you should do’. I have no sense of identity. You know when you do silly facebook quizes, and you get questions like ‘my friends say i’m ……’ well i have no idea what they would say. I dont know what I am.

6. I see no future.

This is different to not knowing where I am going, I see no life for me after about the age of 50. Maybe thats normal for my age (23).

7. You are not taking me seriously enough.

I am going to break at some point, i’m not on meds, I dont have enought support and one day I will snap again and this recovery cycle will start over again. That was depressing … here is a cheerier song