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Very Short Stories

I’m practising writing some VERY short stories (about 13 words long). I might submit them for an anthology. I’m giving them titles here, but I’m not allowed to submit them with titles.

Lesbian Problems

'She’s not my friend, she’s my girlfriend. Back off.'

Anticlimax

Filled with excitement from her picture I type ‘hi’.
Send.
Now we wait.


Sneak Preview

I ordered mussels. She saw my tongue in action. Second dates’ tomorrow.

Love Wins

Jonathan would have asked him regardless. But was relieved they could call it marriage.

Co-habiting

I had things, you had things.
We have things.
Where’s my stuff gone?

FML

I didn’t remember there being sex in this show when I wasn’t watching it with family.

Empath

I know you're sad. I won't tell anyone.

 

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Best Orange Is The New Black Season 3 Quotes

My favourite episode of the new season of Orange Is The New Black is Finger In The Dyke (episode 4). Here are my favourite quotes from that episode, pretty much my favourite quotes from the entire series. Its not that spoiler, there are some but it won’t ruin the episode and definitely not the entire season. I find a lot of what was said really universal about identity and being yourself.

Young Boo – You’re aware of how stupid that is, right? That I have to go out and pretend to be something I’m not to make her happy?

***

Alex – Your wish is my command, princess., Oh, that’d be a fun role-play.

Genie and Aladdin. “Free me from this lamp, street urchin!” No? All right, we’ll work up to it.

***

(Boo is going to pretend to be a converted lesbian to get money from fundamentalist churches. She’s being helped by a nun and another inmate who gets money from them. They are going through what she should say to them.).

Boo – “As he lieth with woman, they are both committing an abomination, they shall surely be put to death, their blood will be upon them.

” Boom.

Sister – And?

Boo – Leviticus, 24601.

Sister – 23:13, 20. Not Jean Val-jean’s prison number.

Boo – Good catch.

Sister – Thou shalt not make musical references.

Boo – Why not?

Pennsatucky – Because that’s, like, the gayest thing on the planet and even I know that.

Boo – That is an ugly stereotype about gay men. See, everybody knows my people are stage managers, not performers.

***

Boo – Nobody is talking about conceding my hard-earned position as Lord of the Lesbians.

***

Boo- Oh, I wish I had some sob story that would explain everything. Well, sorry to disappoint you, sugar. Ain’t no dramatic origin story here. Just a big old dyke who refuses to apologize for it.

***

(Flash back, Boo with her girlfriend).

GF – Your mom is sick and you’re not gonna go see her? That’s not normal.
Boo – You’re right, I’m not normal.
I’m queer. [gasps] Wait, did you not know we were lesbos? My bad, I should have told you.
You must have been very confused.

***

(Flash back to Boo at a hospital to visit her dying mother. Her father sees her outside the hospital room and wants her to change her clothes).

Boo – I have been her daughter for 42 years.

Now don’t you think she could have taken some of that time to work on accepting me for who I am, rather than mourning every fucking thing that I am not?

Boo’s Father – I understand that whatever this is, is important to you, but it’s a costume, that’s all.

The rest of us, we get up, put on a suit and a tie, we go to work.

You think that’s how I wanted to dress five days a week? No, of course not.

But no one gets the privilege of being themselves all the time, Carrie.

No one.

Now, if you want to go in there and upset her, I’m not gonna stop you.

But you need to decide whether your costume is worth what it’s costing you.

Boo – I have had to fight for this all my life, Dad.

All my life.

Strangers, girlfriends, fuck, even my own parents all asking me to be something that I am not.

Do you have any idea what that feels like? Like, your whole fucking existence is being denied, like “Whoa, you’d be better off if you were invisible”? Yeah.

I refuse to be invisible, Daddy.

Not for you, not for Mom not for anybody.

***

Boo – Jesus was a fag. He said, “This is my body, eat me!”

***

(Boo was dressed very feminine to talk to the fundamentalist Christians. She decided not to go through with it).

Pennsatucky – I’m glad you’re back.

Seeing you like that was scarier than seein’ that dolphin penis at SeaWorld. Around all that water, it looked out of place, you know.

Some ladies just ain’t meant to look lady-like.

Boo – Now, my mother would disagree.

She’d say, “Don’t be a salmon.

Pennsatucky – Is that a vagina thing?

Boo – No. Salmon, they swim upstream against the current.

Pennsatucky – Oh.

Boo – Wish I’d said goodbye to her.

***

Pennsatucky – you stood up for yourself, and that’s more than I can say.

Boo – No, I just showed them who I really am.

A big, stupid, stubborn pussy-loving dyke.

Pennsatucky – Hey, well, listen, if that’s who you are, then that’s who you are.

And there’s no use in fightin’ it, and if you ain’t gonna fight it, you might as well embrace it, or else you’re living in purgatory.

Boo – Fuck yeah.

Pennsatucky – Here’s to heaven or hell and nothing in between.

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Exciting Ukulele News!!! New Channel

Hi my lovely friends 🙂

SoOo I have exciting ukulele related news (although all things ukulele rested are exciting). I have been working on a project for uni and it has been going very well. It’s a youtube channel where I write and play songs on the ukulele inspired by films and TV shows, or covers of music from films/TV shows.

I’m really proud of the work I have done, I’ve learnt to video edit, recorded some of my own sound and most importantly am finally writing music again and singing in a public forum. I was trained as a singer, and started my degree in music but after a hard mental health time I walked away from it. It’s lovely to be doing it again but on my terms, performing what I want and in an environment I feel comfortable in.

It would be lovely if you checked out my youtube channel HERE and like/comment/subscribe if you want to.

I also have a blog HERE dedicated to the channel.

Your interest and support in this project would mean a lot to me.

Here are some of my favorite videos I’ve made (I love them all though). If you follow me due to discussing mental health I wrote a but of the girl interrupted song based on my own experiences with borderline personality disorder. You can see the video below, and a vlog I did about writing it HERE

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Dear Shearsmith and Pemberton (An open letter)

(SPOILERS for the episode A Quiet Night In)

Dear Shearsmith and Pemberton

I want to start of by saying I love your show Inside No. 9

I started watching it on recommendation of my Dad who enjoyed ’12 Days of Christine’. My favourite episode has been ‘Cold Comfort’ having both worked for a call centre and wanting to go in career helping vulnerable people. But I won’t go on singing your praises. I would like to briefly draw something to your attention, not because I want to moan but because I respect your show a great deal.

I thought the episode A Quiet Night In was beautifully crafted, but I would question the way you treated your transgender character. In the little representation transgender people get in television they are often portrayed as victims.

‘Since 2002, GLAAD catalogued 102 episodes and non-recurring storylines of scripted television that contained transgender characters, and found that 54% of those were categorized as containing negative representations at the time of their airing. Transgender characters were cast in a “victim” role at least 40% of the time.’

(A note to those who have not seen it, a couple argue while their house is being broken into. One of the burglars sees the woman in the couple taking of her clothes for a shower, then her wig, then we see her from behind standing up and urinating. She is later murdered by her husband out of rage).

In this episode I see no reason for this woman being transgender, and a great deal of the time transgender people have to watch portrayals of people like them being murdered or working in the sex industry.  (‘51% of transgender people surveyed that the way the media represents trans people has a negative effect on their mental health’.)

This is especially troubling considering the very high rate of transgender people who are murdered each year (http://www.transrespect-transphobia.org/en_US/tvt-project/tmm-results/tdor-2014.htm)

I get that people get killed in TV shows. Thats fine, thats cool. But in the greater context having this woman who was murder be transgender, for no reason that serves the plot, and be killed by her partner just adds to the problem of transgender people being portrayed as victims in the media and reminds transwomen of the danger their lives could be in.

What is motivating me writing to you is I just finished a project documenting the lives of three transgender people, as well as remembering five transgender people (age 15 – 18) who killed themselves this year. And seeing her killed just made me think there is no escape. There is no escape from the fear of violence when you are transgender, there is no escape from being thought of as different when you are transgender. When you are watching a great TV show late a night with the cat on your lap and a diet pepsi, there is no escaping  the fascination of watching a transwoman pee standing up and from the fear of being killed.

To you it is a gag about peeing and then a character being killed. To us it is much more. To us it is more violence and more typical media portrayals.

I know that you probably didn’t know any of this. Now you do, in the future would you consider using trans characters more sensitively?

I can’t wait to see the great and harrowing work that you make in the future.

Thank You

Rhisify

I have included my sources for the statistics used.

https://www.glaad.org/publications/victims-or-villains-examining-ten-years-transgender-images-television
https://medialectic.wordpress.com/2013/11/18/transgender-portrayal-and-representation-in-media/
http://www.theguardian.com/sustainable-business/2014/sep/23/media-transgender-people-bbc-radio-one

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3 Ways Video Games Can Change Your Life

NOTE: This was written as university assignment, as a publication intended for cracked.com It was published on my blog so my tutor could access a version with easily working links.

Have you ever been told that you won’t get anywhere playing video games? That going out and doing some exercise would be better than running along a platformer, that you should spend some more time in the real world instead of the World of Warcraft? Well I have some good news for you, video games are becoming real or should I say what you do in video games has the potential to affect your real life. Let’s dive into why games work, what they do for us and how our lives are shaped by video games. Video Games Help Us Learn In 2013 Colorado, a little boy called Gryffin Saunders was in a car with his little brother, his Great Grandmother at the wheel. While driving along this busy road his Great Grandmother had a heart attack. Because this kid decided that being called Gryffin wasn’t awesome enough he took the wheel and drove the car full of his family members to safety at the side of the road. When the police arrived, they asked how he did it. He answered ‘Mario Kart’. Although this is an unlikely situation it’s an example of how we retain knowledge from the games we play. And if you have to take a few less driving lessons because you feel naturally comfortable at the wheel due to driving games your wallet with thank you. Games can also teach us valuable skills that don’t just come in handy during “code brown” inducing moments.

If only ...

If only …

Video games are the perfect way to teach people, mostly because through buying a video game and playing it the player has made a conscious choice to engage with that game. How many times in school did you ask ‘What’s the point?’ ‘When will I need this?’ ‘Why can’t you teach us how to …?’ When learning through video games this problem doesn’t arise since the player has chosen to spend their time this way. James Gee, a researcher who has written a lot about video games and learning, and still finds time to be a professor at The University of Wisconsin and author of ‘What Video Games Can Teach Us About Literacy and Learning’ says on this  ‘the beginning of learning is knowing who am I going to be, what am I going to get if I do this and learn this, games are very good at creating an identity … they give you an avatar … clear goals … and a clear sense of who you are going to be’.’ When playing video games, the player gets very involved. Have you ever played “Mario Kart” and tilted your body with the wheel, or jumped out of your seat while making a character jump? Yeah, that’s because your mind has got so involved in the game your body has as well, and this is the perfect state to be in for learning. Have you ever done something way too hard in real life and never tried again for fear of failure, or got way too bogged down with information and given up? Video game level design means the player solves problems in the right order of difficulty, being introduced to information as and when they need it. Imagine if the first level of “Portal” had both portals available on the gun, turrets all around you, gels falling on you and all while you can still hear the radio from your cell blasting? It seems kind of ridiculous, but as learners we are often treated this way, given too much information too quickly. As players we choose our difficultly level, how quickly we want to progress and are free to try and solve problems in any way that the game will allow. Imagine how much better school would be if it was tailor made for our interest, learning pace, and skill level.

I would have got all A’s

I would have got all A’s

So we have that sorted, you’re all up for learning and the way you’re being taught is tailored to you, so what can you learn (apart from how to save your family from a car accident like a bad ass)? The first thing Video games can teach is how to learn (I know this is sounding a bit Zen but stick with me).  In his book ‘Videogames’ James Newman explains how the act of playing games gets players used to learning and adapting to new tasks.  He asks us to think about how much time it takes us to learn how to use computer programs like Word or Excel (whatever the hell that’s for) and compares that to the time it takes to get going with a new video game. ‘Watch the player encountering a brand new game and, after an initial period of acclimatization, you will doubtless find a player performing a complex series of immensely precise and interactions with little apparent effort [and] minimal contemplation of the joypad … What is almost certain is that [the] controller will soon look like an extension of the player’s hand.’ Many gamers will play for hours and when they look at the clock have no idea they spent that long playing. This is because the gamer is in a state of ‘flow’, when each task progresses to the next with clear goals and is within the person’s capabilities they are motivated to keep going and get lost in the task. Because of this state we adapt to new situations games throw at us. Newman goes on to say by playing video games even developers of more ‘serious’ software could expand their horizons ‘from an examination of the interfaces of games like Super Mario Galaxy, which see players effortlessly negotiating movement in three dimensions while viewing the action upside down and with inverted gravity.’

It was with the help of the power stars that cern final discovered the higgs boson particle.

It was with the help of the power stars that cern final discovered the higgs boson particle.

Other specific examples of learning through games are text heavy games that require the player to read, possibly far more and at higher reading levels than they would if left to their own devices. Games like Pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh have entire worlds and jargon of their own and require the player to pay attention to detail and work on strategy. Pokemon can even be thought of as a kid’s version of chess, the trainer has to think about the strengths of the opponent and use a strategy to respond to their moves in order to win. That’s actually a lot of hard work, but because it’s happening through play, we don’t tend to feel that it is. Games that require a lot of concentration can even help kids with ADHD concentrate. Gee says  “Kids diagnosed with ADHD because they can’t pay attention will play games for 9 straight hours on the computer. The game focuses attention in a way that school doesn’t.” So all these factors that make games a great learning tool meant that Grythis Saunders, who chose to play “Mario Kart” of his own free will and for extended periods of time could put his skills to work. Games can open up an avenue for those of us who don’t learn in conventional ways and help us change our lives for the better. Speaking of better … Video Games Can Help Us Make Better Choices Assuming you don’t have kids and you would like some, you’re probably not confident about being a parent when the time comes. The game “The Walking Dead” puts you in the role as a carer, you have to make big decisions that will affect someone else. This is like a simulator for caring for another person, except if you fuck up, you don’t have to pay for the years of therapy bills like you would in real life. What could be better than having a chance to show what a kind and moral person you can be through gaming? Being a complete ass hole according to Matthew Grizzard, assistant professor in the department of communication at the University of Buffalo.  Grizzard led a study called ‘Being Bad in a Video Game Can Make Us More Morally Sensitive’, in which the test subjects played a modified “Operation Flashpoint: Cold War Crisis”. Some of the test subjects were asked to play as terrorists and then asked to write about a standard day in their lives. The test subjects who played as terrorists felt guiltier about any morally dubious actions described in their normal day than the control group. Grizzard believed that these reactions could lead to players exhibiting more pro-social behaviour  (being more empathetic and altruistic for those of us who don’t do science) .

The test subjects for the study found this job easier than their last.

The test subjects for the study found this job easier than their last.

Even games like “Grand Theft Auto” can teach us morality by putting the player in situations they would have to get into some serious trouble to experience in real life. James Gee says “Grand Theft Auto 3 does not exist to get off on shooting people … The game offers you a palette of choices, Players must confront moral dilemmas, develop social relationships, and solve challenging problems that might apply to real life. How compelling would a game be if you only had good choices?” So by trying to decide if you’re going to take the moral high ground (well, as high as you can get for GTA) or sink to the depths of depravity in a video game, your giving yourself a test run for when you have to make morally ambiguous decisions in your life. Hopefully those choices won’t involve if and how to torture someone. But for some people just being given meaningful choice can change their lives. A games developer visited a ‘lower income school’, described by his YouTube show as ‘the sort of school where students didn’t think of going to college and where pregnancy was something that just sort of happened’. He had planned on speaking to them about the scientific method, but as he watched them play “Mario” he realised the game was giving them a feeling of making meaningful choices. The group ended up discussing freedom of choice, that their choices mattered and that they did have a choice in how their lives played out. In an environment where the students were only thinking about the present, and saw their lives as written out for them, this was a really important message. autonomy If you look at the above, I’m sure you would prefer the options from the left column. Very often in our lives we don’t have opportunities to do those types of things and have to stick to a rigid way of working. One of the reasons games appeal to us so much is the sense of freedom they can give players. Games like Skyrim and World of Warcrack (sorry, craft CRAFT) give players a sense of freedom and choice but most importantly makes them feel their choices are meaningful and effect the environment around them. I’m sure you feel pretty good when you nail something in a video game using creative thinking, because you were given a choice in what method you would use to solve a problem. Sometimes in life we forget we have that freedom and for some people it’s important for them to see that they have a choice in the first place. Your Life Will Become a Game, Like It Or Not Earlier we talked about how games are an ideal learning environment because of levels of increasing difficulty, unlike life that can throw a load of hard stuff at you in any order that you are not ready to deal with. There are apps to try and change all that, they organise your life into manageable levels with rewards, and this is called Gamification. Gamification is taking the mechanics used in games and applying them to non-game activities like writing that paper you have been putting off or getting through your to do list. You can get apps that help you keep fit by running away from zombiesor turn your to do list into an RPGGamification has even been used for scientific research. Using the game Foldit, which gamifies designing proteins, players and scientist co-designed an enzyme that would not have been achieved through conventional computing methods and their work has been published as a scientific paper.

This is EA Calling, good news! We want to make your life into a game. The bad news, this is EA calling.

This is EA Calling, good news! We want to make your life into a game. The bad news, this is EA calling.

 There are three reasons why we play games (we already talked about the sense of freedom they can give) because yes, we do actually play games for deeper reasons than ‘because it’s fun’. These can be broken down into competence, autonomy and relatedness. Players who like playing games to for fill competence like the feeling they get from gaining XP, collecting achievements, or any kind of rewards given throughout the game. It’s a feeling of very obvious progression, that the player will eventually be rewarded. Autonomy would appeal to players who want freedom of choice, and to see their actions matter and affect the game world around them. Examples of good games that give players autonomy have very lose structure where players can establish themselves in the world and choose how they interact. People who enjoy social games that rely on others to help them play are enjoying a game for its relatedness. When playing games that rely on others to help you finish or need the players to work together to achieve a common goal, social interaction becomes a lot easier. People can instantly connect as they all have similar objectives and feel valued as part of a team. These different factors that keep us playing games are taken and used to make Gamification effective. The video above explains Superbetter, an app that gamifies your life and helps you improve in any area you choose. You decide what game you are playing by setting your own goals, you choose your achievements all which result in a level up once you have accomplished a bigger goal, and you use friends and social media to help. Gamification works because it uses all the aspects of why people like to play games to get people to complete whatever they have set for themselves. You might be thinking nothing can make you do the tasks you don’t want to do or you’re so lazy that you have actually considered doing this, that Gamification won’t be able to motivate you? I hate to break it to you but it probably already has.

‘OK we’ve tried salt, fat, rat shit, tears of small children, and the blood of an innocent. How can we make Mcdonald’s more addictive?’

‘OK we’ve tried salt, fat, rat shit, tears of small children, and the blood of an innocent. How can we make Mcdonald’s more addictive?’

Gamification is everywhere, and when I say everywhere I mean “marketing” … which is everywhere. Take for instance McDonald’s Monopoly. They have LITERALLY made buying lunch a game. You are rewarded for buying their food by being given collectable Monopoly board squares, and when you have a set of the same colour you are rewarded, like an achievement in video games. McDonald’s Monopoly also has an online version (because everything does) and with online gaming comes social media pages and apps, so we can share our progress with our friends. Gamifying McDonald’s works, so what? You don’t eat and McDonalds? But you play video games … I know you do because you’re reading this. Steam, for example, a computer gaming platform, uses Gamification in their last winter sale used cards and points as rewards for buying games, then split players into teams and rewarded the teams with the most points with give aways. Regardless whether you consider yourself a ‘gamer’ or not video games will work their way into your life, for better or for worse. _____________________________________________________________________________________ Rhisify is a creative arts student who spends more time learning about video games than playing them. You can read more of their writing here, and follow their thoughts on twitter.

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I find this incredibly funny …. Ellen Page on SNL.

I remember seeing this video ages ago. I watched it a few days ago because I was reading THIS great article. The article gives context of where this skit came from:

idle talk about her sexuality trailed her, too, and grew only louder on Feb. 24, 2008. That was the night that her power-lesbian publicist sat next to her on her big Oscar night, where she’d wind up losing to MarionCotillard, the star of La Vie en Rose.

It was gossip warhorse MichaelMusto who, five days after the ceremony, first floated the question of Page’s sexuality in a Village Voice column titled, “Ellen Page: Is She or Isn’t She?” In the same article, Musto wondered whether she’d attended the ceremony “with her mother” — certainly the most efficient way to land a lifetime position atop Bush’s shit list. Musto later wrote a follow-up in which he took a measure of sadistic delight in recounting an angry phone call from Bush, in which he described the publicist sounding “as if her cat had just gotten stuck in a drainpipe or something.” (Bush denies ever having raised her voice during the conversation.)

Page’s fears about celebrity media had been confirmed.

But rather than deny or ignore Musto’s tauntings, Page played right into them, participating two days later in a Saturday Night Live sketch as an earnest young woman who’d returned overjoyed from a MelissaEtheridge concert. The part, written by veteran SNL writer PaulaPell (herself gay), had Page gushing to her unfazed boyfriend, played by AndySamberg, about all the lesbian wonders she experienced at the event. “They were kind of like, ‘Are you … OK with this?’ And I was like, ‘Yeah!’ ” says Page. If there was any backlash, Page never felt it: “Sometimes I think when you’re like, ‘Hey, I don’t give a shit,’ that’s the moment where people don’t give a shit.”

I remember the last time I saw this laughing my ass off at the line ‘Why does everything have to have a freaking label? Can’t I just hug a woman with my legs in friendship’? I think it was quite some time ago. With the power of hindsight so much about me is explained.

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Queer Life/I Am A Genderqueer Balloon

http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2014/12/15/a-9-year-old-girl-gave-this-hearfelt-letter-to-her-teacher-after-he-came-out-as-gay/

I recommend reading the entire article for context. I think its interesting because when I was a kid, if some one asked me if I thought people who ‘were gay or lesbian were bad or wrong in some way’ I would have probably said yes, but if you asked me why I wouldn’t have known (bear in mind section 28 was repealed in 2003 and I was at junior school between 1994 – 2005 so school wasn’t going to tell me jack all). I sort of never thought about it much until when I was older and just sort of realised its all fine (which is bloody lucky!)

Kids don’t really think about it, thats why they are so accepting, but on the flip side, they don’t think about it much so they believe anything they are told from family, other children, the media ect … Parents need to talk about these things to their kids, or it will be left to playground insults of calling each other gay to shape there perception of sexuality. I think if I had been educated a bit earlier about this (or at all actually) I would have know more about myself. I never knew I had the feelings I did because I never thought it was something I could have. Of course I knew about LGBTQ people but I never thought that could be ME.

Over the years everything became more confusing and it wasn’t until I went to university that I even started to really engaged in what it meant to be bi-sexual (a label I no longer identify with), I had the attraction but I never spoke about it much unless in flippant terms, or got involved in the LGBTQ community. My life has changed because of engaging with these people, not just because I’ve made a lot of friends, but because I started to learn about things. The more I knew there were names and explanations for how I felt, something many other people felt, the more I felt them. Maybe thats sounds odd but it was like I was being given permission to be me.

I found out the label ‘Queer’ was a thing and looked into it’s meaning and took it as my own. I felt bi-sexual wasn’t really accurate and although queer can refer to a number of things I find it better to be vague then explain than use a term that isn’t quite right and have people assume the wrong thing.

Back to about feeling like I was being given permission to be me. At some point I realised I really started missing wearing jeans. I think I was watching some of Arielle’s videos, and looking at her style and jokes about how lesbians dress and I was like ‘I wouldn’t mind trying that’. I had owned a shirt for a while and loved wearing it but never thought to buy any more. I got more. And more. And irritated when I didn’t have any to wear, like I used to feel when I had to wear school uniform. At the same time my undercut expanded and my hair got ‘accidentally’ cut short. I thought about how when I talked about ‘women’ in contexts like feminism I never really felt like I was talking about me, but some other group. I never worried I was manly, I never have been and never will be. I have traits some might consider male, but I don’t really by that way of thinking.

I knew a few people who didn’t identify with gender, and the more I thought about who they were, the more I saw that was who I was.

So no I have to leave past tense behind. I’ve felt this way for a few months but didn’t want to say. I know there are harder things to share with the world. But I’m still scared. I’m worried that people won’t get it, will ask me to explain constantly. What do I say to strangers who mis-gender me? What if I realise in a years time of whatever this is not the case and have to go ‘sorry guys I’m not actually genderqueer’. What if men or queer women don’t like me in a romantic way because they don’t see me as a woman?

But thats what I’m trying to say now in this really round about way. That I don’t identify as a man or a woman. I’m just this floating thing. Like a balloon. A genderqueer balloon. This started as a Facebook status and after about 200 words I knew now was the time just to bloody get it out there.

I like girly stuff, I do love a good skirt and heals. And I like shirts, and guys hats. And it’s not all about aesthetic. I wonder why I didn’t know sooner, but then I look about my red, vaguely gendered bedroom thats been this way since I was 13 and think maybe it was pretty obvious I just had no words.

And that brings me back to the point I made at the beginning. Educate young people so they have the words, so if they have these feelings they know what they are and don’t have to wait as long as I did to figure out who they are.

Some days I’ll look girly, some days I won’t. Some days i’ll pull a face at heavily gendered things and others I’ll love them. I don’t know, I just take each day at a time.

So would you mind they/them for me as a pro-noun?

I can’t keep just doing it my head anymore, its a real thing of me now, it seems so silly to keep it inside.

And I totally reserve the right to realise I was incorrect, although I can’t see that really happening.

Thanks.

10405585_10152795823851265_3973017913607460474_n

First picture I took of me in my newly expanded non-binary gender wardrobe.